You Are Not a Gadget: Review Haiku

The worst of both worlds:

academic jargon AND
technobabble! Wheeeee . . .

You Are Not a Gadget by Jaron Lanier. Knopf, 2010, 209 pages.

The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ: Review Haiku

Revisionist gospel
introduces Father,
Son, and Evil Twin.

The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ by Philip Pullman. Canongate, 2010, 245 pages.

A Love Story Starring My Dead Best Friend: Review Haiku

Road trip, drama geeks,
first love, Teh Gays, ninjas --
this debut hits 'em all.

A Love Story Starring My Dead Best Friend by Emily Horner. Dial, 2010, 259 pages.

P.S. "Ninjas can divide by zero" is quite possibly the funniest line I've read all year.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Review Haiku

Why yes, I AM the
last person in the world to
read this. Brutal, fierce.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson. Knopf, 2008, 480 pages.

Zombies vs. Unicorns: Review Haiku

The zombie ones rock,
but unicorns have sex and
fart rainbows. TEAM U.

Zombies vs. Unicorns edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier. McElderry, 2010, 432 pages.

Packing for Mars: Review Haiku

Mary Roach answers
your burning questions about
food, sex, poop in space.

Packing for Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void by Mary Roach. Norton, 2010, 336 pages.

Sh*t My Dad Says: Review Haiku

Can't believe this will

be a TV show, but as

a book it's not bad.

Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern. It Books, 2010, 176 pages. Read on a Kindle borrowed from the Bedford Free Public Library.

Clementine, Friend of the Week: Review Haiku

Not Clementine wacky;
Clementine sad. She is still
the awesome-est.

Clementine, Friend of the Week by Sara Pennypacker. Hyperion, 2010,

YOU: Review Haiku

If this doesn't make
you despair for the human
race, you read it wrong.

You by Charles Benoit. Harper, 2010, 208 pages.

I Know I Am, But What Are You? Review Haiku

Exaggerated
memoir so funny it'll
make you smile out loud.

I Know I Am, But What Are You? by Samantha Bee. Gallery Press, 2010, 256 pages.

The Kneebone Boy: Review Haiku

Yes, it really is
that good. Voice, character, and plot --
it's got them all.

The Kneebone Boy by Ellen Potter. Feiwel & Friends, 2010, 288 pages.

Sizzling Sixteen: Review Haiku

You don't really care
what happens, right? Just if we
see Ranger naked.*

Sizzling Sixteen by Janet Evanovich. St. Martin's Press, 2010, 320 pages.**

*No.

**There by the grace of superwide margins and giant leading, again. It's really only 96 pages of content.

Vordak the Incomprehensible: Review Haiku

If I say this was
fun but grew tiresome, will
Vordak come and kill me?

Vordak the Incomprehensible: How to Grow Up and Rule the World by Vordak the Incomprehensible (Scott Seegert). Egmont USA, 2010, 208 pages.

P.S. The Egmont USA booth was right next to ours at ALA. Vordak appeared and signed books, and I snapped a picture with him on my phone -- which I promptly erased like a moron, trying to upload it to Tweetdeck. I was too terrified to ask for a retake.

I'm back! Sort of.

As you read this I am either a) on a plane from Rio to Miami; b) waiting all damn day in the Miami airport for my flight back to Boston; or c) on a plane from Miami to Boston, finally coming home from a weeklong class/caipirinha-drinking boondoggle in Brazil.

[Or else, d) I have been mugged and murdered in Sao Paulo, and these last, pre-written blog entries are my spooooooky missives from the graaaaaaaaaave. But probably b).]

I have been doing a goodly amount of vacation reading, the fruits of which you will begin seeing over the next few weeks. Enjoy.